Nu wave santa monica

I am infatuated with 4 girls right now

most of which I could never have.

Pathetic? yes.

- J.T

NVM

Nevermind the last blog entry.

She's so high

So I got a new girlfriend
and shes UBER amazing

Her nae is RaeAnne, I'v been beating around the bush with her for 3 years now.

I reeeeally like her.

And I'm really lucky to have her.

Guys like me shouldint get girls this pretty!

<3

- J.T

Letters Never Sent pt. 2

Dear _____;

You really have hurt me, you know that?
I know that sounds stupid, but you did.
And I feel like a total dick, because despite the fact its not true, I feel as if its my fault I let you slip through my fingers.
I guess truly opening up to you... Letting you see who I actually am... was a mistake. A big one. Apparantly, I unwittingly put everything onto your shoulders, and for that, I am sorry.
And now you continue to engage me in these friendly conversations, as if nothing happened. Because, of course, you still want to be "just friends." And you know, I go along with it. I act fine. I act like I'm not heart broken, which I am. I act as if I to want to dont truly care about what we had. But heres the real truth;
I'm not ok.
Its not so easy for me to casually talk to you, normally, because heres another truth;
When I told you I loved you, I meant it.
You arint yesterdays news to me. I havint forgotten about it. I doubt I will. I dont know how you do it... I guess things just werint as amazing for you.
Of course, its not like I'm ever going to actually tell you these things.
Because you see, I still love you. And as such, I still care about you. I know you dont... I'm just some dude to you. But hey, thats just me, loser as I am.

I love you,
and I truly miss you.
-J.T

BATHORY

I totally think...


That I'm going to die young.

I Want You (She's So Heavy)

Fuck this.

Fuck you all.

I have decided to live by a new philosophy.

Make decisions and never look back.

Fuck you. I dont need any of you.

Not anymore.

DOA

I'm hurt. And lost. And rather confused.

I just dont get it.

I feel like drowning

Just Together

Computer is back. Hooray. Life is so much simpler without a computer, but at least now I can post regularly.

Anyways, in my exile from the computer, I began writing songs for my planned acoustic debut. My uncle works in a recording studio, so I'm planning on using it to record this. These are the tracks and there lyrics, so far. (I will be recording them as Just Together)

"At A Loss"
The air, it feels so cold
Like a constant ache, my soul
Shredded throat will sing for you
I hope this doesint last,
But was it wrong to trust you?

"Fagotry"
Everywhere I turn, people seem to see
A different me
Why is it,
That with every turn of the heart,
I dont love myself, but they love me?
You see perfection
I see infection
You all confuse me with your fagotry.

"Cold & Numb"
This is what they call
Another endless night
Sleepless insomnia,
What happened to your phone call?
I'm fucking freezing,
But nothing is wrong with the heat
I feel nothing, like an empty void
And as your quiet torture intensifies,
My problem will desensitise
I'll just wait for this to end.

"Malignant"
Its funny to feel
Like nothing is real
The world could be mine,
But your first in line.

"Raining Tears"
Waking up to rain
But I still feel pain
I needed you again
But is that right?

You cant tell if I cry
But lets say I died
Perhaps it was wrong
To really belong

So I'll shut back up
and lock my heart
and emotions with a key.
Then maybe you'll see.

"Emotionalized"
Your vindiction makes me scream,
But all I do is dream
Perhaps if my tears stain the floor
You will the impression of me
Conformity is a way out
Because then all of your venom would ring true.
I know you wont believe me,
But I still love you.

"Somewhere Else"
Love shouldint equal confusion
So why are we so confused?
Something I did, or said?

I know my apologies ring empty
And I fear it is to late
I think I already lost you
Before I could explain.

(keep in mind i have a few silly love songs written as well. i just dont think there as meaningful, unless things are really alright. anyways, more to come soon...)

Brain Stew

My apologies to everyone who misses me. (so noone, really)
You see, my computer has been "in for repairs" for the past 2 months
and Im seeing no end to it.

Not like I give a shit,
but I think all of you pathetic people who hang on my every blog post should know that Im going to be away for awhile. To bad for you to, because I have a shitload of poetry to post.

If you want to talk, ask Josi for my cell number.

Otherwise, good day to you.

-J.T

Nelson

So I'm back from BC
and it was, for the most part, gay.
But I got to hang out with Meghan, so it was automatically awesome.

Was I missed?

Poetic Musing's 3

"Insomnia"

I stare at the clock.
12:28
Darkness, oh please, for this I hate.
I stare at the clock.
1:44
My eyes ache, time is a whore.
I stare at the clock.
2:59
Pop those pills, it will all be fine.
I stare at the clock.
3:55
I thoughts drift to her, and suddenly I'm alive.
I stare at the clock,
But I dont really care.
I fear
The nightmare's ensnare.

Poetic Musing's 2

"Mistakes"

I promised you the world
Didn't I?
With my next mistake,
I could hear your heart break
And my shredded throat
Eased that ache.
I wept for you,
I cryed for you.
And now, I am tormented

For now, we pick up the pieces
And form something new.
All is well.
But do tell...
Will you still love me
After my next mistake?

Because I cant take
Hearing your heart break.

Poetic Musing's

"Rain"

Drips down my spine
Sweet relief
Rain, Rain
Just keep falling
and wash this away
for my hands
are stained
with your disdain

The Day I Died, Part 1

I love you, Meghan.

-Nate

With those words ringing in his mind, Nathan moved the mouse up to the “send” button of the email. Hovering over the button, Nathan hesitated.
“What the hell? What’s with the hesitation?”
The last time he had hesitated in sending an email to Meghan had been when he had admitted his true feelings to her. It had been the email that had started everything he had with her. He had had good reason to hesitate.
This was… inexplicable. This was the second email he had sent her since she had left for Cuba. It wasn’t anything big; It was simply him updating her on his life at the moment. It was also telling her how he was leaving for Red Deer that day, for Easter.
Nathan shook his head, and clicked the “Send” button. Within seconds, the email had been sent. “Your just a little off today,” he told himself. Regardless, the hesitation stuck with him. Was it a premonition? Had sending that email been a bad idea?

No.

Nathan shut down the various web pages he had up. The email page, Nexopia, Limewire, iTunes… he exited from them all. He then opened up his MSN page. Thinking about it for only a moment, he logged out. MSN was rather pointless, with Meghan gone. She was one of the few reasons he even used the computer. He hated technology.
He then shut down the computer, and sat back in the chair. Kneading his forehead with his knuckles, he pitied himself. He had once again neglected to wear his glasses, and as such, had developed a head ache.
“Oh, Meghan…”
He mentally kicked himself. “Don’t torture yourself, dude.”
Nathan had to laugh at his own lameness. She was only gone for a little over a week. He was making a mountain out of a mole hill.
But… still. That was ten days he could not talk to her. That was ten days he could not see her. Ten days of hell, it was.
And it was only day four. Nathan still had quite a bit to go, before this hell ended. Six more days, he had woken up and told himself. It was a countdown he never forgot. The day before, he had woken up with a hint of a tear in his eye, telling himself “Seven more days.” Tomorrow, he would wake up with a hint of a tear in his eye, telling himself “Five more days.” It was a daily ritual.
And the worse part of it was how guilty about it he felt. Countless people had told him that time away from her would be a good thing. “It will make you realize whether this is a serious relationship, where you both need each other, or if it is just a good time.” Well, that wasn’t a problem for Nathan. The minute he had stepped out of her doorway on Sunday, Nathan had known that he needed her. He had known that the next ten days would be some of his worst. The minute he had left, he had missed her.

Secretly, dark at night, Nathan wondered if she was feeling the same.

“Ah… Sunday…”
Sunday had been the last time he had seen her before she left. It had also been one of there better dates. He had gone to her house for dinner. He had also gotten the whole day with her.
It had been an amazing night. They had playfully fed each other popcorn, while watching “Kinky Boots.” They had tickled each other. They had played guitar with each other. They had held each other.
But the highlight of the night had been at dinner.
Meghan’s mother, while putting dishes away, had said something Nathan had never heard from a girls mother before;
“Nathan, you have to come over more often.”
The statement had stopped Nathan cold, although he didn’t show it. Invitation from the parents, to hang out with there daughter more often? That was the holy grail of a real relationship, in Nathan’s opinion. Even better, Meghan had told him later that she had never said that to a boyfriend of hers before. It had made Nathan feel like a million dollars.
Nathan snapped out of it. The night had been amazing, yes, but she was gone now. Thinking about Sunday hurt, because it reminded him of that grim fact. He attempted to push the memory from his thoughts. He failed.
Sighing, Nathan stood up and stretched. He had a busy night ahead of him. Round Up Band, and then Red Deer right afterwards. At the thought of Round Up Band, Nathan groaned. It was pointless, having a rehearsal in the dead center of spring break. All of the rich kids were out of the country. Seventy five percent of Round Up Band was rich kids. As such, doing the show would be difficult, to say the least.
Sometimes, Nathan wondered why he even bothered still doing the marching band gig. His future clearly didn’t lie in that general musical direction, so why was he dragging it on? Not only that, but the people were infuriating. The seniors were arrogant, push up giving assholes. The juniors were timid, horrible musicians who were rather clueless. Oh, there were exceptions; Josi, for example, was amazing on her sax, and wasn’t arrogant. There were more, but not much.
But these musings were private. Nathan would quietly and obediently go to rehearsal, and silently hate himself for doing so. Yawning, Nathan walked away from the computer and started to walk up the stairs.
At that point, Nathan realized how shaky everything had become. The world seemed to be spinning, and the headache that was now pounding through Nathan’s skull was not helping. He grabbed onto the rail, and stumbled up a few more steps.
And then, darkness took over.
Black seemed to wrap the surroundings in a dark, ebony coat. Nathan fell backwards as the dark oblivion took him
The last thing he remembered was hearing -rather then feeling- a number of thuds, as his head banged down the stairs.
“Thud, thud, thud, thud, thud…”
And then, when his head should have hit the pavement ground, he was gone.

Inspiration = Found

They say that before a person dies, there entire life flashes before them.

I have never believed that notion.

I think that when a person dies, the realization of death causes the person to remember all the good times in their life. These memory's are so amazing, it seems to slow down the death, and "flash" before their eyes.

Now, I ask you this; Have you ever had a near death experiance?

Did your life flash before your eyes?

Because as you may or may not know, I had a near death experiance last thursday. It was so near death, I actually thought I was dead. It was so near death, that my atheism was momentarily lifted. I beleived I was in heaven. To me, it seemed like a spent a long time in heaven. I thought "My god, I was wrong. There really is a god, there really IS a heaven."

Of course, I turned out to be wrong. I wasint dead. I wasint in heaven. but you know what didint happen?

My life did not pass before my eyes.

No, as I sat in that oblivion I thought was heaven, I rehashed memorys. Happy ones. Sad ones. And the funny thing is, they all seemed to involve one person in particular.

I'll leave who that person is up to you.

Anyways, I am illustrating this near death experiance in a short story divided into multiple parts. I think this is the inspiration I was looking for. No, it wont be a depressing tale of death; It will be an inspiring tale of love and hope. Corny shit like that. Expect part 1 to be posted quick.

Think about what I have said as you read it. And my story is going to be 100% truth. I will never forget the day I died. Because oddly enough, it did not panic me.

-J.T

Green Eggs And Ham

Have you ever read the book "Green Eggs And Ham?"

I read this book for the first time in years about two days ago. My brother requested it as his bedtime book. Being the good brother I am, I read it to him.

It amazed me just how boring and pointless the book was. The "book" consists of one big bitch fest between SAM-I-AM and this other, unnamed character. You see, SAM-I-AM will stop at nothing to have the other dude eat his Green eggs and ham, which is quite... suspicious, if you ask me. Anyways, the book goes like this;

"I do not like them in a box.
I do not like them with a fox.
I do not like them in a house.
I do not like them with a mouse.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere.
I do not like green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am."

Now, the book continues like this. On. And on. And on. And on...

Which led me to think, who in there right mind would have the time and the sheer boredom to write something this pointless, at this lenth, completly in simple words and ryming?

Which led me to research how this book was formulated. And I have figured it out.

You see, what most people do not realize is that the great Dr. Seuss had a secret to writing all of his works; That secret was LSD. Really, did you think that a man in his right mind could write like Dr. Seuss does? No, it takes a man tripped out on mushrooms to imagine a cat in a hat, or green eggs and ham. Seuss knew that acid could help him create art, long before John Lennon was even born.

Ayways, one day, Dr. Seuss and his good friend Sam (nic name: Sam I Am) were sitting at a table, doing LSD. However, they were both in an adventurous mood. Sam, a frequent user of marijuanna, got the idea to add weed to the high. He ducked under the table, pulled out his stash, and him and Suess were soon taking hits of mushrooms and joints of weed.

A little while later, Dr. Seuss put down his joint. At this point, the man was higher then all of Staten Island. Giggling like a madman and imaginfinf a world of rainbows and laughter, Dr. Seuss then walked over to his fridge and pulled out a hock of ham. Now, in his high state, the ham appeared to be bright lime green. The following ensued;

Dr. Suess (DS): "Hehe.... HEY! SAM!"

Sam I Am (SIA): "DUDE."

DS: "Hehehe... Do you want some... some..."

SIA: "(giggle)"

DS: "GREEN EGGS... AND HAM?!?!"

SIA: "(giggle) NO. THANK YOU."

DS: "How about... IN A BOAT?!?!"

SIA: "(considers) NO. I DO NOT."

DS: "How about... WITH A GOAT?!?!"

SIA: "DUDE."

DS: "DUDE. Get me some pen and a paper! (giggle) this shit is REEEEAL"

Dr. Seuss then sat down and wrote the entirity of the book. he tryed everything to get Sam to eat the green eggs and ham. Soon, they were on the very last page, and Dr. Seuss was getting frustrated. The egative aspect of the LSD was starting to kick in;

DS: "SAM"

SIA: "(giggle) DUDE, I love you"

DS: "If you love me, you'll eat the green eggs and ham."

SIA: "The... the... wha..?!"

DS: "EAT EM!"

SIA: "S-s-sure?"

DS: "Thank you, asshole! I've been trying to get rid of that shit for MONTHS."

4 months and 5 lawsuits later, everyones favorite childrens book was published.

-J.T

Letter never sent.

This is a letter I never had the courage to send. You'll understand why.

Dear. Meghan Currie;
I have been trying for so long to find something to describe how I feel for you.
I've tryed songs, storys, poems, words, pictures.
I've tryed writing countless things. Love rants, poems, you know them all.
I've tryed making up neat little metaphors, like you did. Thing is, I couldint think of anything significant enough to really say to you. Because to me, no matter how creative they are, they're never good enough.
I've tryed writing longwinded rants, which I post in blogs and whatnot. But Im always unsatisfyed with them. No matter how long they are, they are never long enough for me.
To be honest, I could go on for hours and hours, pages and pages talking about how I feel for you. About how goddamn perfect you are. But I would never take comfort in it, because I would always leave something out. I keep trying, believe me. But the fact is, Im always leaving something out. I cant pinpoint what the hell it is.
Maybe I'm not meant to know what it is. Maybe its just that little bit of completion that noone can completley understand.

I now know that no matter how hard I search, its always gonna be futile. I'm never, ever going to find something significant enough to represent my love for you, so all I can offer you is myself.
Because god only knows what I'd be without you.
I have tryed imagining life before you. And it was an unhappy place. My existence lacked meaning before you.
And now, I have meaning.
You.


So I'm giving up my search, because its like chasing a rainbow... It has no end. I am never , ever going to find something amazing enough to represent how much I love you. But believe me, if it existed, I would bombard you with it. Every single day.

I love you, Meghan.
And I never, ever want to stop holding you.

- Nathan Iles

Grant's got it down

Carpe Diem = Grant
nathan. lovesick = me

Carpe Diem says:
you dont enjoy her company because you can do anything with her. she is just so amazingly perfect for you and vice versa that she would let you do anything because she trusts you. one critical element that is lacking in most teenaged relations
nathan. lovesick. says:
Exactly!
nathan. lovesick. says:
man, you got it down
nathan. lovesick. says:
me thinks we should hang out in person sometime
Carpe Diem says:
sounds like a plan
nathan. lovesick. says:
and when im with her, it seems liek nothing else really matters. Its like this whole other world I want to escape to.
nathan. lovesick. says:
and then i get yanked back down the minute i step out of her door
Carpe Diem says:
the pure ecstacy that you have with her is so amazing that just being in her presence is enough to bring you from a depressive state instantaneously. words dont even have to be said. its so perfect just looking into her eyes you feel secure and that she is your better part. with her absence brings pain. in her presence its too great for any words.

Grant seems to know exactly how I feel.

Lovesick.

They say that time away from your partner is a good experiance to go through. As my dad put it, "It helps you realize just how much you need them. It helps you realize wether your relationship is a serious one, or the stereotypical teenage one."

I guess I agree with that. I just dont like it.

Meghan is in Cuba, until April tenth. The day after she gets back, Im leaving for BC, on a 5 day trip. So basically, I wont be seeing or talking to her for the next two weeks.

Great. Two weeks to think about how much I need her.

You seriously have no idea how much this hurts. Im sitting here now, maybe 7 hours since last seeing her.... and you know what? I want nothing more then to hold her. And I cant. I feel like kicking something.

Im really happy she gets to go on an adventure. Im really happy she gets to go travelling so much. But deep, deep down, I want her to stay. If there was anything I could do to make her stay, I would do it a million times over. But theres nothing I can do, so I guess Im gonna have to wait out the next two weeks. Whoopity fucking do.

I love her so much. I miss her so much.

I dont need these two weeks. You know why? Because I already know that I need her. I need her more then anything.

"I’ve seen palaces in London; I’ve seen a castle in Wales
But I’d rather wake up beside you and breathe that ol ’familiar smell"

I tryed imagining life before her. I cant.

I just wish she knew that.

How pathetic.

So here I am, at school, in the computer lab, posting on my "blog."

How pathetic.

Its about 12:26 right now. In 20 minutes, the bell shall be ringing and I will be back to the regular routine of sleeping my way through my classes. But until then, Im sitting here in the computer lab, thinking of how pathetic I am for hanging out in the computer lab.

I could be out playing rugby. I could be tripping around school with Lukas. But no, Im sitting here in the computer lab because as far as school goes, I have no life.

Its not like Im a loser or anything.
I just stay disconnected from school. School is the lamest shit on earth.

Im not talking about the classes. The classes are fine. But as far as people go, my school is horrible. Everyone has abandoned me at school, so why should I even bother? All the people that matter to me go to other schools.

Meghan goes to Manning. Brenden, Eric, and Alex go to Massier. Steph and Josi go to some fancy ass french school.

Where do I go? The worst junior high school in calgary. Good ol' TB Riley.

I hate this.

-J.T

Please keep holding on to me

THE SPILL CANVAS

"Valiant"

There's a special place inside my skull
Where your DNA it codes my cerebrum
In full stuttering and drooling
My shredded throat will try to sing for you

What do you say? Would you marry me today?
The moon would gush all inside out
and my nightmares would go away
What do you say? Would you devote yourself today?
Like riding out a sinking ship as it lowers into the bay
Please stay.

The blood collects and flushes out your cheek bones
I've got this secret garden and you are the only one who knows
I'm stuttering and drooling
My shredded throat will try to sing for you

What do you say? Would you marry me today?
The moon would gush all inside out
and my nightmares would go away
What do you say? Would you devote yourself today?
Like riding out a sinking ship as it lowers into the bay
Please.

I'm cutting ties with all the jealous zombies
I need to feel your warm body on me

When the sun goes down and the shadows grow
Just trust in us and forever know
Please keep holding on to me


Funny
This song almost describes how I feel about Meghan

But its still missing something

And I miss her

In Bloom

Im still waiting

Im spiraling right now
and i need to get it out there

I need to write it down

But I cant
Im to scared
Im to pathetic

Worry me

Essay #1 "Dual Citizenship In Canada"

Check this out;
i wrote this essay in 20 MINUTES. Without doing any research beforehand.
Its not amazing, i know
But I think for something written right before bedtime, its pretty good.

"Dual Citizenship In Canada"

The first thing you should know about “Dual citizenship” is what it is. Dual (or multiple) citizenship is when more then one country recognizes you as its citizen. This can occur in a number of ways; For instance, if your parents, grandparents, or spouse were born outside of your residing nation, then you may be considered a “dual citizen,” depending on the country you are currently living in. One of the country’s where this can occur is Canada.
Canada will be the main focus of this essay. Why? Because here in Canada, it is an important issue. It is much debated, whether being a dual citizen is a good thing or a bad thing. I personally believe that it is a bad thing, a point which I will discuss. What are the advantages of dual citizenship? What are the disadvantages? Is it truly worth it?
The first thing that should be understood about dual citizenship is that it has plenty of advantages. It offers many practical advantages, such as social security, and more employment opportunities. Being a dual citizen can also enhance ones feeling of belonging, due to having strong personal ties to more then one country. However, becoming a dual citizen provides many difficulties, some of which may be unforeseen at first.
For instance, becoming a dual citizen is a long, strenuous process. This is due to the fact that citizenship is a very complex matter. In fact, before the Citizenship Act of February 15, 1977, Canadian law limited dual citizenship, providing more ways to gain or lose citizenship then does our current law. Since that date, however, Canadian law has allowed dual citizenship.
However, as said above, having dual citizenship provides many difficulties, disadvantages, and consequences. It is important to understand that the laws that apply to you at any time are the laws of the country in which you are physically present at that time. This can result in many difficulties; for instance, travelling with a Canadian passport and another countries passport can lead to certain difficulties in the country you are travelling to. In some countries, it is illegal to travel with more then one passport, and can lead to a hefty fine.
Some other inconveniences are political; for instance, you may be affected if the country you are a citizen of is involved in a political upheaval. Travelling can become a hassle, due to the this, and the passport issue mentioned above. What applies to one country may not apply to the other; this can cause various problems, including denial of emigration, military service, and even imprisonment due to failure to comply with the laws and obligations of one of your countries of citizenship. As such, being a dual citizen can be very complicated.
But when it all comes down to it, obtaining dual citizenship is a personal choice. It offers benefits, yes… but with those benefits comes various problems and incontinences. It is important to be aware of these disadvantages, especially in an incredibly diverse country like Canada. Personally, I believe that dual citizenship is unnecessary, and overly complicated… and because of it, not worth it. Its up to you, of course... but I would pass on it. Consider these facts; and make the right decision for yourself.

Survey

Only reply to this if your a close friend of mine. Please try to answer in moderate detail.

(DONT COPY AND PASTE THIS)

1. If you had to label me, what would you label me, and why?

2. Which would you say is my best feature, emotionally? Why?

3. Which would you say is my worst? Why?

4 Which famous musician/actor/political figure do I remind you most of? Why?

5. Which genre of music do you most asscociate with me? Why?

True Love

Its amazing, how fast one's perspective on a certain subject can change so quickly. Take me, for instance. Up until about 2 weeks ago, I absolutley hated the whole "dating" thing. At our age, its the gayest shit ever...It usually consists of talking on the computer, and hanging out at school. I have resented and condemned "love" for almost a year now. But then, this girl changed everything...
The girl Im talking about is Meghan Currie, my girlfriend. She re-entered my life, and put everything back into perspective. I absolutly adore her.
Yea, it seems pretty hypocritical, doesint it? But you see, this is so much more different then all the other shit everyone does. We dont go to the same school. Shes older then me. WE ACTUALLY DO STUFF. You see a trend here? Its a total far-cry from the typical "Dating" scene that exists today...Shes an incredible person. Me and her...its an incredible thing. So no, Im not a hypocrite...I am in love.
It all kinda started during hell week, of last year...For all you non-geeks out there, its a weeklong hell for us round-up kids. She was a trombone player. I was a french horn player. We never REALLY talked...It was more of a small talk sort of friendship. But halfway through hell week, I realized something...Shes really pretty. After thinking long and hard, I decided to ask her out.
Well, something happened...I wont say much, but I will say its mostly Kylah Shaw's fault. Long story short, I chickened out of asking her. She ended up with Kieth...A trumpet player. And I came to the conclusion; Dating sucks balls.
So theres that. She left C.R.U.B after stampede week, so I tryed to forget about her...But before leaving for tour, I got her email address. It was through email that I found out she was with Kieth, and that she was one year older then me.
I was, for lack of a less cheesy term, heartbroken. Over tour, I kinda forgot about her...But not really. She always remained in the back of my head.
Well, about a month passed...About halfway into August, I started talking to her again. And thats when things really started to go my way.
Over the course of several months, we talked...alot. I reunited with her at the post party for C.R.U.B, which is where I realized how much I liked her...again. But the age gap remained firmly planted in my mind, and I tryed to forget about it.
The thing is, I didnt.
Well, long story short, we talked alot more. Soon, it became apparent that this could be more then a friendship...If i didint act like an idiot again. We even went trick'or'treating together, which sort of sparked the fuse. Months later, (early January) we went to a movie...and thats where I realized that this could really happen. A week later, I asked her out...I really did. And you know what? She said yes.
Well, now its been two weeks...Some of the best two weeks of my life. The age gap makes no difference...Actually, I think it does, but in a good way. Shes so much more mature then the most of the prissies I know. Shes always up to do something. In short, the age gap is a good thing.
But it has occured to me how much Ive been missing. Had I been more couragous all those months ago, I would probably be a much happier person right now. Suffice to say, I was a complete retard, and I regret that decision more then anything.
Did I mention that she is beautiful? Well, she is. She's beautiful to the point of making me feel lucky to have her...which I am.
But the best thing about her is all the similarities she has with me. We like almost the exact music. Were both atheist. Were both chronic cynics. Were both extremly fucked up. She's the type of person I can just sit down and talk to.
She's a hit with everyone I know, to. My mom, I quote, thinks she is the most adorable thing ever. My dad thinks she is one of the nicest, prettiest girls he's ever seen me with. Ditto for my grandpa. Brenden thinks that we are perfect for each other, in a sense that we complete each other. I could go on, but that would get old quick.
Well, if you've read this far, then you probably get the point...I really like her. Well, more then that...I love her. Being with her is a truly amazing experiance for me...I am so lucky to be with her.
Well, thats it for me. Hopefully, you've read this far...Because the world should know that Nathan Iles is happy, for the first time in almost a year.

- J.T

All Apologies

Ok, so Im far to busy right now to post regularly.
Im hauling ass to get good marks on my next report card, Im trying to get a job, Im taking trumpet lessons, I have a new girlfriend...Plus, my parents seem to think that if I spend more then an hour on the computer, Im looking at porn. Parents suck = FACT.
Im sick of it...so if I ever DO get around to posting, It will be when their not around.
The blog drought may end sometime next month, but until then, dont hold your breath for each post. I will post every now and then, but not regularly.

Remember; Mesmerize The Simple Minded.

-J.T

Rant

So Im not in the best of moods today. As you may have read in "My war with machines," I didn't get all that much sleep last night. So since Im not in a great mood, Im gunna address a few issues regarding my "blog."
First of all, this isn't a typical "blog." In fact, this isn't even really a "blog." Blogs are lame ass online diary's that pathetic people with no life use to display there problems to the world. Now, I may be pathetic, but I certainly have a life. Plus, diarys are stupid. Instead, I use this space to display my opinions, storys, and award winning essays to world. If you like them, thats cool...comment, if you really like them. If not, well, with all due respect, go fuck a goat.
The second issue I'de like to address is my name, simply because to many people ask about it. Now, thanks to the cruel, cruel society we live in, my first name isn't really "J.T." In the real world, I am refered to as Nathan, a shortened version of Nathanial (which is my true first name.) I truly, truly hate this name. You see, I am an atheist, and my mother is catholic, and she picked this name out of the bible. I am named after St. Nathanial, which would be an honour, if I was religous. But I am not, and as such, I have to put up with this name. I dont like it, but I put up with it.
This raises the question; where does the abbrieviation come from? Well, it actually comes from my MIDDLE name (John Talbot.) I am truly honoured to have such a middle name. You see, John is my father, who is the greatest man I know, and Talbot was my grandfather, who died exactly one year before I was born. If we lived in a perfect world, this would be my first name. But we dont, so I had to figure out another way to use it.
When I began writing, about 1 year ago, I finally found use for my middle name. Taking influence from J.K. Rowling, and J.R.R. Tolkien, I decided that if John Talbot couldint be my first name, it would be my pen name. I abbrieviated it, and ever since then, I have signed all my significant work with it. It is my secret honour.

So theres my rant of the day. Suck on it.

-J.T (formely known as Nathanial John Talbot Iles)

My war with technology

Have you ever waged war with technology? Its probably the most painful experiance ever, at least in my case. Especially if you dont know how to shut the damn thing off.
I got this brand spankin' new watch for my birthday...digital, of course, because regular watches give me a head-ache. And I absolutley adored the thing...as Peter Griffon would say, its "Freakin' sweet!"
However, being as technologically illiliterate as I am, I have no idea how to work the thing. The only button I dare press is the "light" button, and that's to see the time in the dark. Because of this, I had to endure the worst night of my life.
I had one of those weird nights...you know, where you actually get some sleep? What I mean is, by 9:30, I was passed out. I was tired, and sleep was a strange -but welcome- bliss. It was soon interupted, however, at no later then 3:00 in the fucking morning.
Yes, 3:00 in the fucking morning, and I was woken from my bliss. As I wiped the yellow crap from my eyes, I looked around, thinking "Why the hell cant I get to sleep?"
Well, a quick glance to my night-table revealed why...My "Freakin' sweet!" watch was beebing, at 3:00 in the fucking morning. A function that I had no idea about, for it had never done this before. Seriously annoyed, I reached over and pressed some random button. It stopped, at I fell back asleep.
However...At 3:10 in the fucking morning, I was woken up...again. Once again wiping yellow crap from my eyes, I was enraged. "Is it that fucking watch again?!"
Well, It was. Once again reaching over, I pressed the same button. It stopped, (again) and I went back to sleep.
Well, this process repeated itself...and repeated itself...and repeated itself until no later the 4:00 in the fucking morning. And at this point, that was it. My eyes were blood-shot, my hairy a flipping mess, and the yellow crap getting into my covers. Finnaly, (at 4:10 in the fucking morning,) I picked up the watch and stumbled my way downstairs. Cursing god, I walked out my back door, and shoved my "Freakin' sweet" watch into the B-B-Q. I stalked upstairs, almost totally out of my mind, and fell asleep.
This time, there were no interuptions. Bliss was upon me, and in my dreams, I said good riddance to that blasted device. I had no regrets...and I planned to throw that thing away in the morning.
Well, morning came to soon. At 6:00 in the fucking morning, my mom woke me up, and told me that I was staying home to watch my brother. I almost slapped her, said fine, and went back to bed. An hour later, I was up, watching my brother.
And now here I am...writing this tale of woe, as I sit here at 9:00 in the fucking morning. The watch? I pulled it out of the B-B-Q this morning, with every intention to throw it out, and immediatley noticed a "Reset" button...directly beneath the "Start" button I had been pressing this entire time.
That is my tale...The moral? Get used to technology...as I found out the hard way, being so illiterate in a world where tech literacy is required isn't the smartest thing to be. As I write, I am reading a manual on how to work my watch.

-J.T

Random Disturbing Shit

Last week, in London, a 17 year old teen was arrested for attempting to kidnap a body from a local graveyard. He said that he had planned to bleach the skull and use it as a bong, and then have sex with the corpse.

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As of December 2006, roughly 60% of all Christian men and 30% of all Christian women are addicted to porn.

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It has recently been discovered that Kurt Cobain could have possibly been murdered. He was said to have shot himself with a shotgun, but he was to short to shoot himself with it. Also, according to Courtney Love, Cobain was not depressed any more then normal leading up to his "suicide."

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Scientists estimate that by 2029, if teenagers continue to have sex underage as often as right now, 70% of the world population will have STD's.

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Traces of an acidic fluid used inside of computers have been found in breast milk.

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