Letters Never Sent pt. 2

Dear _____;

You really have hurt me, you know that?
I know that sounds stupid, but you did.
And I feel like a total dick, because despite the fact its not true, I feel as if its my fault I let you slip through my fingers.
I guess truly opening up to you... Letting you see who I actually am... was a mistake. A big one. Apparantly, I unwittingly put everything onto your shoulders, and for that, I am sorry.
And now you continue to engage me in these friendly conversations, as if nothing happened. Because, of course, you still want to be "just friends." And you know, I go along with it. I act fine. I act like I'm not heart broken, which I am. I act as if I to want to dont truly care about what we had. But heres the real truth;
I'm not ok.
Its not so easy for me to casually talk to you, normally, because heres another truth;
When I told you I loved you, I meant it.
You arint yesterdays news to me. I havint forgotten about it. I doubt I will. I dont know how you do it... I guess things just werint as amazing for you.
Of course, its not like I'm ever going to actually tell you these things.
Because you see, I still love you. And as such, I still care about you. I know you dont... I'm just some dude to you. But hey, thats just me, loser as I am.

I love you,
and I truly miss you.
-J.T